Siddharth Dhanvant Shanghvi: Hunger, invariably, makes you compassionate

Last year in the spring I couldnrsquot get out of bed for a month post COVID a real slump no appetite no movement no life Outside my room in Matheran where I was recuperating birds sangmdashthe sky an immersive blue the forest a jewel of wisdom Meanwhile I felt like death Specialists Irsquod met in Mumbai hospitals prescribed medicines that felt toxic far worse than my ailment In the peculiar educative isolation of a long sicknessmdashwhen you feel like yoursquore a bull in a holding penmdashI knew I had to clean myself out rinse my cells while assessing the fraying bitsOne afternoon I lay on the forest floor ready finally to submitHinini hininiThe crucial thing is the pause make room for silence in the commotion of the struggleIn the monsoon I moved to Meher Babarsquos ashram the profound spiritual silence always made me feel safe true reflectiveThere I started after consulting with a yogi friend on a onemonth kunjal kriya programme Following this cleanse I moved to intermittent fasting soon reaching my goal of eight hours of food and 16 hours of abstaining after a few months I switched up to one meal a daymdashdifficult but transformativeIn a matter of days I felt vital strong alert clearminded quick and taut my body had a kind of bow string quality vibrating with possibilities COVIDrsquos backlash gradually lost its violent hold over me it was like a claw had let go My skin shone I tasted alcohol but now it was poison to my tongue I slept for four or five hours at night I woke naturally at dawn energetic and spry Dawn was the right time to begin my chanting practice of namyo ho renge kyoBut I am not writing about some diet plan rather I am sharing insights that come from when we change our most basic consumption patterns Limiting food induces sharper perceptions Hunger invariably makes you compassionate while I was privileged to release myself to food hunger is the terrible unrelenting painful reality that millions endure and without choice I now glimpsed hunger in the eyes of the porter the waiter the doormanmdashwhere once was a hollow bored glint I now saw the hunger code Even after I had trained my body to eat once a day I recognised hunger as a singular unifying force more so than love morality or a shared passion for ideas This made me question the idea of consumptionmdashwhat you put in must also be processed and eliminated this is work toil a process for body and spirit What you consume will one day consume youEnergy sensitivity was the most important consequence of eating one meal a day My instincts grew sharper my intuition a tad witchy I spoke lessmdashspeaking was a waste to begin with I cut out interactions that sapped my vitality Peacefully discreetly I eliminated people who were energy vampires they donrsquot mean to be like this they were karmically wired to absorb my life out of me Of course it was my job to be vigilant at the gate and of the guest One key service we commit to life concerns the management of its energy what you put out what you take in and living in admiration of what just is prana chi vis vatae that mysterious glowing matter that makes our molecules gossip ardently with each otherOne meal a day involves restraint and discipline Hunger is violent difficult to tame Until my main meal at around 5 pm I consume apple cider vinegar shots green tea electrolytes by 3 pm Irsquom ready to pick a fist fight for a piece of toast But while the menu is depressing the results are less soHunger also showed me how austerity is a clarifying exercise for the soul Less is lovely The pandemic was a hurricane we entered with a bunker playlist and two avocados but we came out the other side windswept and chipped and maybe a bit wiser for the wound Irsquom so glad I had been sick if only so I know now how much I would fight for my vitality And Irsquom so lucky that in my middleagemdashI will be 50 in four yearsmdashI know how to meet age amicably with restraint and in prayer