Bas chakka

Midway through the IPL 2024 season a highlevel emergency conference was held called BAS CHAKKAmdashBowlers Against SixersThe attendees were the various ldquodeliveriesrdquo in T20 cricketmdashonce heralded now wounded and demoralised the attendees comprised ballsdeliveries of all kindsmdashthe Chinaman the wrong lsquoun the googly the off break the off cutter the inswinger the outswinger the straighter ball the carrom ball the bouncer the yorker the wide yorker the half tracker the length ball the ldquodoosrardquo the knuckleball the reverse swinging ball the slower ballmdashmany of these deliveries were injured badly during the tournament they came on crutches walking sticks walkers and wheelchairs There was a decided gloom in the air an overhang of pessimismThe President of BAS CHAKKA the ldquodoosrardquo said in his opening statementmdashldquoI donrsquot know why they have bowlers anymore in T20 cricketrdquoThe Chairman of BAS CHAKKA the off spinner said ldquoSpectators only seem to want sixers sailing high into the standsrdquoThe Treasurer the carrom ball mumbling through his numerous bandages wailed ldquoBloody hell 742 sixes were hit off me in this edition of the IPL Irsquom undergoing numerous Botox operationsrdquoThe bouncer spoke candidly ldquoYaar these blasted rule makers they tell us lsquoyoursquore now allowed two bouncers every overhellip but the ball hardly bounces over the batsmenrsquos head and they call it a widerdquoThe off cutter said ldquoThe boundaries are getting shorter and shorter Irsquom wondering why they have boundaries at allrdquoThe cynical wide yorker rolled his eyes and exclaimed ldquoCricket rules are becoming worse and worse everything is stacked in favour of the batsmen earlier they could take a review only if theyrsquore out or not now theyrsquore taking review of bouncers and wide balls in fact why have umpiresrdquoThe ldquodoosrardquo said ldquoIn fact why have bowlers at all just get those lsquoball throwingrsquo machines like they have in tennisrdquoldquoYes I agreerdquo said the knuckleball ldquowhy do they need variationsmdashwhy have all of us who have honed our crafts over the yearshellip T20 cricket is now nothing more than ChatGPT it can be AI createdhellip we are mere robotsrdquoldquoFrankly there is no need for us as it is theyrsquore making flatter and flatter pitchesrdquoldquoYaaron just imagine wersquore just 50 matches in and already so many 250 plus scores what will it be nexthellip 300 400rdquoldquoNobody seems to want a contest itrsquos like WWF they just want to see blood and gore coming from bowlersrdquoldquoIrsquom not understanding thishellip our viewers spectators are going sixer crazyhellip itrsquos like the gladiators of old spectators baying for our blood destroying ushellip six six six sixrdquoThe grouprsquos social media influencer the wrong lsquoun cooed ldquoSo apparently theyrsquore making a new rule if you hit the ball out of the stadium itrsquos 12 runs a twelver it will be calledrdquoThe room went silentOne of the deliveries the off spinner asked the group ldquoBy the way where are our brothers our fellow deliveries the wide ball and the beamer why havenrsquot they attendedrdquoThe social media influencer asked ldquoWhatrsquos a beamer isnrsquot that a BMWrdquoldquoBeamer madam isnrsquot a car itrsquos when a ball is bowled at a batsmanrsquos head Very dangerousrdquoThe President of Bas Chakka informed ldquoThe beamer brothers Chhota Beam and Bada Beam are maha pissed they feel even if by mistake the ball slips out of the bowlers hand and heads to the batsman head oh man what a song and dance people make as if it was thrown purposely the beamers have been so ostracized theyrsquove had enough with all these damn lsquoFree HitsrsquordquoldquoSo theyrsquove retiredrdquoldquoWorsehellip they have begun a terrorist organisation called lsquoTNTrsquo stands for lsquoTests Not T20rsquo they intend to launch attacks on all T20 competitions around the world destroy them completelyrdquoThe bouncer said ldquoHmmmmhellip I was asked to join one of these fundamentalist groups they want to close down T20 cricket as they feel the format is ruining the game of cricket they want to assassinate most T20 batsmen they are called ISIShelliprdquoldquoWhat does ISIS stand forrdquoldquoIrsquom Seriously Irritated with SixersrdquoRahul daCunha is an adman theatre directorplaywright photographer and traveller Reach him at rahuldacunhamiddaycom