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Marriage proposals: How young Indians are celebrating love the western way
Updated On: 03 October, 2023 08:00 AM IST | Mumbai | Aakanksha Ahire
Gradually, more and more young Indian couples have begun to celebrate love and embrace it wholeheartedly. Finding newer ways to make marriage proposals have become a trend and social media is a testament to this
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In India, it is believed that marriage is not just a union between two individuals but two families. Photo Courtesy: iStock
Happy tears rolled down our eyes when Schitt’s Creek Patrick went down on one knee and proposed to David at a serene location. We were also beyond happy when Monica from Friends did the same for Chandler in her own apartment leaving him feeling mushy. These scenes from western media have had a profound effect on our hearts – so much so, that we long for a marriage proposal equally heartwarming.
Our longing has further intensified all thanks to Instagram which is waiting to break to us the news of someone getting engaged and flaunting their marriage proposal through reels whenever we visit it.
These proposals look grand on social media and have made it look like a necessary gesture. While many endorse it to celebrate love and bond, some also do it for social media. We tapped a marriage counsellor and a to-be bride to understand the influence of this Western culture on young Indian couples.
The Indian scenario
In a typical Indian setting, the union of marriage is sealed by a roka or engagement ceremony where the to-be bride and groom exchange rings in the presence of their families and relatives. This is in the case of both arranged and love marriages. In India, it is believed that marriage is not just a union between two individuals but two families, unlike in the west where families have very little involvement in a couple’s decision to get married.
“This is changing now. Young Indian couples are taking charge of their own romantic relationships independent of familial influence,” says Ishmeet Minhas, founder and couples therapist at Minhas and Associates. “The proposals are an expression of their independence,” adds Minhas.
According to her, the choice of young Indians going down on one knee and asking for their partner’s hand in marriage is much more than just a romantic gesture. She says, “I am observing young Indian couples having progressive ideas about romantic partnerships. They recognise their expectations in a relationship and live by it regardless of what their families say. This indicates a drastic shift from the traditional ways in which the decision of marriages was made.”
Further, Minhas also mentions young Indians becoming financially independent in their early 20s which allows them the liberty to live by their own rules. Additionally, she points out the stereotypes that have changed over time. Today, women too confess their love to men, an act that was deemed to be men’s. The fact that women today are independent more than ever and have the liberty to make their own life choices is also encouraging them to go down on one knee and propose to a man. This reflects equality that more and more young Indians are accepting and normalising.
“The influence of media as well as social media plays a huge role in bringing about this cultural shift,” says Minhas. India has a large number of social media users. Getting exposed to various grand as well as romantic marriage proposals, most of which are also unconventional, is shaping people’s aspirations for themselves.
The flip side to media’s influence on young couples
While the cultural influence of marriage proposals through media is definitely encouraging couples to celebrate their love and rekindle the spark of romance, it also has its own share of cons. Minhas says, “I am also seeing individuals feeling disappointed and frustrated when they don’t get to live their share of fairytale moments.”
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