Jab ‘they’ met: What to do when you run into your ex?

Btown love stories and breakups have always intrigued Bollywood fans Recently videos of Bebo walking past her exboyfriend Shahid Kapoor went viral The paparazzi videos show Kareen Kapoor on the red carpet of the Dadasaheb Phalke International Film Festival Awards DPIFF 2024 greeting director Raj who was posing with Shahid KapoorWhile Shahid smiled graciously Kareena simply walked Whether or not this was intentional one wonrsquot know for sure However it stirred up conversations funny and critical Middaycom decided to dive deeper into the subject and spoke to relationship gurus asking them what one must do if they run into their ex ldquoFor many running into an ex even if they ended things on good terms can still be awkward because it brings back memories and emotions Such situations are difficult because they can stir up feelings of nostalgia regret or even uncertainty about how to actrdquo says Hitesh Chakraworty relationship expert and coach spiritual healer author of lsquoDecoding the Mystery Behind 3 6 and 9rsquo and founder of ISSARRuchi Ruuh therapywithruchi relationship expert and therapist says ldquoFacing an expartner is even more difficult especially if you have not been in touch with them after the break uprdquo According to her running into an ex will always be a bit awkward It might also lead to people thinking lsquoHow does my ex feel about me nowrsquo lsquoAm I still vulnerablersquo lsquoWill my feelings for my ex resurfacersquo or lsquoWas this breakup a mistakersquoIgnoring ex can be a sign of residual feelingsldquoThat can be one possibility but it might not always be the caserdquo says Ruuh For some ignoring their ex can be a way to respect their boundaries Some might also feel uncomfortable or awkward and thus ignore them Ruuh adds ldquoMany times people get sad looking at their ex or feel jealous seeing how much they have progressed and choose to not acknowledge themrdquo Further she says ldquoIf one parted ways on a negative note they probably donrsquot want to agitate or irritate them or trigger emotions againrdquoSometimes an encounter with an ex at a social event can open doors to speculation by people who know you ldquoThis creates a lot of pressure on the exes to behave in a certain way Sometimes you dont want to give too much information to people Some do interact in private settings However in a more social setting some wish to keep it lowrdquoRuuh says ldquoTheres no sure shot way again to say if its right or wrong to ignore your partner because each person has a very different way of dealing with the breakup even long after its done All of this also depends on how you broke up and how the relationship was after thatrdquo ldquoHoweverrdquo Chakraworty states lsquoif you find yourself constantly being unable to interact with them without feeling emotional or if thoughts of them linger long after the encounter it might be a sign that you still have unresolved feelings This depends from person to personrdquoSEE PHOTOS Casual or serious relationship Tips to make the right choiceReflecting on your emotionsRuuh stresses the importance of understanding your emotions and processing your feelings ldquoIt is important to process the separation This will help in reminding you why you ended things with your ex It will make you realise how far you have come and how much you have healed This sort of emotional clarity can help you prepare for times when you run into your exrdquoFurther she states that it is important to look at an expartner as just another person instead of looking at him as someone you broke up with ldquoTreat them with grace even if you ended things with them on an unpleasant note You must know that they are human too and even if you are hurting disrespecting them is no way to treat themrdquoldquoIf at all you happen to have an unexpected encounter with them in public or social spaces stay focused in the present moment and donrsquot allow yourself to bring incidents from the past Take a deep breath and remind yourself you can deal with this maturely There is no harm in being cordialrdquoChakraworty adds ldquoIts okay to acknowledge an expartner when you run into them but whether you choose to engage further depends on your comfort level and the circumstances If you feel its best to keep your distance to avoid any potential discomfort or drama thats perfectly acceptable Remember to prioritise your wellbeing in such situations and dont feel pressured to engage beyond what feels comfortable for yourdquoPreparing yourself in advanceAccording to Chakraworty preparing yourself in advance can help ease the tension of unexpected encounters He says ldquoYou can mentally rehearse how youll respond remind yourself to stay calm and focus on enjoying the event regardless of who you might bump into Having a support system like a friend you can confide in or a distraction plan can also be beneficial However the best way is to ignore or give a smile the way you smile at an unknown person at parties or conferences and then move to your known circlerdquo If you anticipate your exrsquos presence at an event it is always a good idea to take your friend who knows your history and with whom you feel safe and comfortableRuuh suggests doing the following if you happen to see your ex in public or at a social event where avoiding them seems difficult1 Stay calm excuse yourself from people drink a glass of water and cheer yourself up2 Try talking to someone about things that you like to distract yourself3 Take your time to collect your thoughts before engaging in a conversation or small talk with your ex4 Remind yourself why you are there for the event5 Be polite say lsquohirsquo make small talk and donrsquot dwell much on the past Avoid making faces or worse accusatory comments making this awkward for everyone present around you 6 If you get uncomfortable think of ways to exit the event gracefullySEE PHOTOS Seven easy flirting tips by expert to woo your crushCommon mistakes to avoid after running into your exBoth Ruuh and Chakraworty list down common mistakes to avoid1 Donrsquot overreact or be impulsive2 Avoid discussing your past at all costs at a social event3 Donrsquot assume what they might be feeling or thinking about you4 Try not to ignore them completely Donrsquot be rude Simply acknowledge their presence by smiling or even nodding and waving5 Donrsquot jump into a stalking spree during or post the encounter6 Donrsquot compare your current life with your exrsquos current life7 Donrsquot dwell on the encounter and let it affect your mood8 Donrsquot over analyse their behaviour or try to read into it9 Donrsquot ignore your own feelings or pretend everything is fine when its not Rather opt for healthy ways to deal with itNavigating connection with your ex postbreakupldquoIrrespective of the nature of the breakup it is important not to keep any kind of connection with your exrdquo states Chakraworty ldquoYour connection of any kind be it through social media or friend circle can also hurt the emotion of your current partner and it might create insecurity in your current relationshiprdquoRuuh suggests setting clear boundaries ldquoIf one wishes to maintain a cordial relationship with their ex they must avoid unhealthy actions like stalking their ex on social media Many people do this and get triggered when they see their ex having fun travelling or even spending time with their current partnerrdquo She adds ldquoBe sure to not dwell on the past or discuss it with your ex After the breakup it is important to respect your ex their emotions and the choices they make in life Similarly it is also important to prioritise your wellbeing and respect your emotionsrdquoFurther she states ldquoIf your ex is trying to communicate with you or wanting to keep a connection and if that is making you feel uncomfortable communicate this with them clearly and ask them to respect your boundariesrdquoShe says ldquoFocus on moving forward rather than going backwards If in any way a cordial connection with your ex is hampering your growth as a person or coming in the way of your present relationship you might as well limit your contact with them or choose to block them out for your own wellbeingrdquoSEE PHOTOS What is Orange Peel Theory Mumbai expert explains the dating trend and how to deal with it