When Bella Hadid cried every day for three years!

Supermodel Bella Hadid has battled depression and anxiety since her teens and she said that she spent a lot of time working putting on a brave face in front of people and breaking down when she was aloneShe said For three years while I was working I would wake up every morning hysterical in tears alone I wouldnt show anybody that I would go to work cry at lunch in my little greenroom finish my day go to whatever random little hotel I was in for the night cry again wake up in the morning and do the same thingIn January 2021 Bella had what she termed a burnout and no longer felt like herself reports femalefirstcoukShe told Americas Vogue magazine My immediate trauma response is peoplepleasing It literally makes me sick to my stomach if I leave somewhere and someone is unhappy with me so I always go above and beyond but the issue with that is that I get home and I dont have enough for myself I became manic I bleached my hair I looked like a troll doll Then I dyed itit looked like a sunrise That should have been the first signEventually Bella checked into a treatment programme in Tennessee for two and a half weeks and admitted medication and therapy have subsequently changed her lifeShe said For so long I didnt know what I was crying about I always felt so lucky and that would get me even more down on myself There were people online saying You live this amazing life So then how can I complain I always felt that I didnt have the right to complain which meant that I didnt have the right to get help which was my first problemThe brunette beauty began feeling better but felt low again last September and for the first time in her career backed out of her working commitments for Fashion WeeksBella deleted her social media accounts and spent a month hanging out with her family in Pennsylvania which she found really helpfulShe said When you are forced to be perfect every day in every picture you start to look at yourself and need to see perfection at all times and its just not possible That month off was really helpful for meTo have to wake up every morning with this brainits not cute So now everything that I do in my personal life is literally to make sure that my mental state stays above water Fashion can make you or break you And if it makes you you have to make a conscious effort every day for it not to break you Theres always a bit of grief in loveBella has suffered from Lyme disease since she was a teenager and was also prescribed Adderall for possible ADHD in high school but the appetitesuppressant effect of the medication pushed her into anorexiaShe said I was on this caloriecounting app which was like the devil to me Id pack my little lunch with my three raspberries my celery stick I was just trying I realise now to feel in control of myself when I felt so out of control of everything elseAlthough Bella has a healthy relationship with food these days the feelings have stayed with herShe admitted I can barely look in the mirror to this day because of that period in my lifeThis story has been sourced from a third party syndicated feed agencies Midday accepts no responsibility or liability for its dependability trustworthiness reliability and data of the text Midday managementmiddaycom reserves the sole right to alter delete or remove without notice the content in its absolute discretion for any reason whatsoever